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Women’s Expo Recap, Part Deux: “An Indecent Proposal” from the Past March 15, 2011

Posted by ozsomesuccess in Business Success, Law of Attraction, Romance & Relationships.
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The Fantasy. The Reality. You've Got it Coming To you. Don't let your Rags-to-Riches become Riches-to-Rages!

I think I must have I analyzed the handwriting of about 60 people over the two days of the Women’s Expo. So I totally nailed the “attraction” part of the equation – and, according to what I’ve heard, I was one of the few vendors who did.

Now I have to get better at the “conversion” part. I was so focused on satisfying the demand for the free analyses, I barely had time to promote the items I had for actual sale, such as my new “WINDFALL” book and the handwriting analysis class I’m hosting in a couple of weeks.

Yet I scored some victories here too – partly because my book was featured at another table besides my own: the Perfect Publishing booth. (www.PerfectNetworker.com) There, Ken Rochon and the other authors in the Perfect Publishing program had all their new books proudly displayed.

My gratitude to Ken was amplified by contrast with another man who also showed up at the Women’s Expo – someone who, almost a year ago at another event (not related to the Women’s Expo), deluded himself into believing he was entitled to sex in exchange for giving me a professional boost.

I’m not kidding. He presumed “permission” where none was granted. His behavior was unprofessional at the very least, possibly even illegal. Seldom had I ever felt so violated, even though nothing “happened.” Just the fact that he asked, was bad enough.

I teach that a woman’s Primal Power is to decide whether, and when, sex will occur. That choice is always hers. What would it say about my integrity, if I couldn’t walk my own talk? Sure, I want to succeed, but not at the cost of granting unwilling sexual favors! Monica Lewinsky I ain’t.

Ken Rochon, on the other hand, never demanded anything unethical of me. He was completely straight-up in all his dealings, never over-promising or under-delivering. He “Kennected” me with an editor (www.Your-Words-Worth.com), graphic designer (www.CSheltraw.com), and printer (www.graphicpressweb.com), who all did exactly what they were supposed to do, on time. The production process went very smoothly and amazingly quickly, and the finished book looks terrific.

And then there’s Cara Michele Nether of Women in Wellness (www.WomenInWellness.com), who coordinated the Speakers’ Showcase including free promos on their website for all the speakers. She also set up the Speakers’ Bootcamp with Dave Elliott (www.mpowerunlimited.com) as the trainer, who is OZ-Some at teaching how to connect with people from the stage.

Last but far from least, Patsy Anderson herself, the Promoter Diva of the Women’s Expo. (www.WomensExpoMD.com and www.WellConnectedNetworking.com). She’s the one who set me up with Mick and Tara Carbo for  an interview on www.LiveYourDreamTV.com, Muni Ara Harun of www.TheSignMama.com who made my gorgeous booth displays, and Deanna Lilly of www.BiznessConcepts.com, who got my book’s splash page ready in time for the Expo.

Now THAT’s the kind of people I want to do business with.

See the results for yourself at www.RosannaTufts.com. The TV interview is there, as well as my “WINDFALL!” book and a free report, “YD-RW: Your Destiny, Re-Writable!”

 

The Power of Story May 23, 2010

Posted by ozsomesuccess in Business Success, Law of Attraction, Romance & Relationships, Uncategorized.
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"My Love, I give you this Golden Crown"

One of my author friends once told me that humanity’s most basic needs are not three, but four: Food. Shelter, Clothing . . .  and Fiction.

I have wrestled with this off and on for years. Each time Circumstance pulls me away from Theatre, and each time I come back, it is with a desire and longing more powerful than before. 

Why? It makes no sense. Why would I do something where, according to “conventional wisdom,” the likelihood of financial success is so small? Why does it matter to me so much, to stand in front of an audience and just pour my heart out in song? 

Back in the day, being onstage was my sole hope of getting people to admire me instead of denigrate me. 

First it was school bullies I was trying to impress. Then it was a compensation for teenage social awkwardness. Then it was proof to my employers that I wasn’t incompetent, I was just in the wrong job. 

In every case, Theatre or Music (and sometimes both simultaneously) was a means to get them to see me for what I really am, not for what they think I am, or wish I was. 

But that’s not going to get an aspiring thespian very far. In some cases, it will even antagonize the very people you need most in order to really succeed. 

What really matters is . . . the Story. 

When you can keep your focus on the Story rather than upon yourself, when everything you do is in service to the Story you are telling, your chances of success are much greater. 

I found that out when I came up with the idea for a musical update of the myth of Persephone. No longer was I a wanna-be soprano, scrambling for little scraps of praise and approval. Overnight I became someone with an original Story to tell, something unique to bring to the table, something that nobody else was doing. 

The Story of how that happened, is a Story all to itself.

Story motivates people to think about their lives — and does it at a subliminal level, without preaching. Story slips past barriers that would otherwise be more adamantly reinforced by direct criticism. By looking at it as an Observer, you can say, “I can relate to that character” and learn from what the character does, then go back and implement it in your own life. 

Show, not Tell.

A Good Story can . . . 

 

  • Show a man how to woo a woman.
  • Show a woman how to recognize desirable character traits in a man.
  • Show you when you are being too obsessed about something.
  • Show you how to listen for the whispers of Divine Guidance when the voice of your own fear is too loud.
  • Show you where to find strength when you think all hope is gone.
  • Show you how to think outside the box for an innovative solution.
  • Show you hypocrisy, and expose it with hilarity. 
  • Show you when it’s time to relax and just enjoy good company. 
  • Show you how to die courageously. 
  • Show you when you need to ask for help, and when you need to keep your own counsel. 
  • Show you how to help someone in trouble. 
  • Show you how to spot the chinks in an enemy’s armor. 
  • Show you when you need to step in, and when you need to let someone go his own way. 

and of course,

  • Show you how to create something that people will pay you handsomely for.

All this and much more. And that’s why . . . the Show Must Go On. 

Notice the pattern here: In most cases, Stories are about People. The accumulation of riches is usually a secondary consideration, a consequence of doing something good for someone. When Money (or Power) is the primary focus of a lead character, the Story does not end well. 

So, in And God Said, “Let There Be Money” (a book that would also make a great screenplay), I update the tale of Acres of Diamonds with a story about a man who goes on wild goose chases looking for money in all the wrong places, and how his inability to control his hair-trigger temper drives his wife to seek solace in a love affair . . .  which in turn kicks her creativity into high gear. He comes to ruination while still remaining clueless as to the real reasons why, while she goes on to fame and fortune by creating works of real value.

In Mr. Right, Mr. Lame, or Mr. Hyde? and Cool Girl, or Neurotic Nellie?, a Heart-boiled Detective named “Cherchee la Femme-Noir” goes on the case to  help her clients solve the mystery of finding the Ideal Mate — how to spot clues that someone may be a false lead, or a Keeper. Your fortune will rise or fall depending upon your choice of life partner; these books will help you make the right choice. You make a different “buying decision” when you are investing long-term. 

And, in The Passion of Persephone (a rock opera), I tell a story of finding your own path in life, even when that path doesn’t match what your parents want for you; a story of being tested to see what you are really made of; a steamy story of love and sexual awakening. Persephone gains wealth (in the form of a golden crown from Hades) by facing her fear of pain, death, and parental disapproval; by finding love in the unlikeliest of places; and by finding her hidden talent. 

What story changed your life?

 

Get Through the Holidays Without your Relationship Falling Apart! December 12, 2009

Posted by ozsomesuccess in Law of Attraction, Romance & Relationships.
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(The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book, “Is She a Cool Girl, or a Neurotic Nellie?” A similar chapter, from the female point of view, appears in “Mr. Right, Mr. Lame, or Mr. Hyde?”)

Early in my dating career, I traveled from Baltimore to Denver for the Christmas holidays with my then-boyfriend. I met his family, and I went skiing for the first time in my life. A great time was had by all – except by my parents, who were back on the East Coast.

It was the first time since I’d been born, that they were going through Christmas without me – but that wasn’t what bothered them so much. No – He and I had been dating for 8 months, and I had a sneaking suspicion that his Christmas gift to me would come in a small package, presented on bended knee.

When it didn’t happen, my parents were actually even more disappointed than I was! They were very “old school,” and thought it highly inappropriate that he had taken me to meet his parents without the understanding that I was his fiancée.

When I divulged this to him, he said he wasn’t aware that such a thing was expected of him. Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last long after that.

This story is a perfect example of how relationships that seem to be going great, can blow up in your face when the Holidays hit, leaving you wondering What The Hell Happened.

It all has to do with Expectations – both yours and hers.

Bill Harris’s dictum from Managing Evolutionary Growth, “Nothing has any meaning except that which we give it,” is perhaps never more true than at Holiday Time. That’s because your relationship is really two relationships: The one you’re having with her, and the one she’s having with you. They may not be the same thing at all. Then it all gets compounded by your respective Expectations of what you each believe the Holidays should be.

Notice how this feeds right back into my definition of Stress? You may find that the conflict between What You Want, and your Perceived Ability to Get It, is so great that it’s only a matter of time before one or both of you cracks under pressure. You want the Holidays to be a warm, fuzzy, beautiful, loving time . . . and you or she might be feeling particularly sour if they don’t turn out that way.

You might accidentally do something that she takes personally, when in reality it has nothing to do with how you feel about her; it has more to do with how you feel about Holiday Time.

For example: Do either of your families have traditions, or issues, you should both know about? Forewarned is forearmed. If you’re going home to visit your mother, and she has serious health issues (whether physical or mental), but your lady doesn’t know about this, she may feel hurt if you’re not taking her with you. You, on the other hand, may be trying to protect her (and yourself) from a potentially embarrassing situation. Let her know that you really are being considerate of her.

Is your family a bunch of Health Nuts, and is your lady all excited about baking her own set of Christmas Cookies to give them . . .  only to be disappointed (or even insulted) upon finding out that they won’t eat them? (I’m a Gluten-Free Gal, so such things matter to me.) Your family might also be unpleasantly surprised if your lady is prone to getting very hungry very suddenly, to the point of feeling faint and/or getting snappy – and she’s not pregnant. This can happen if she’s hypoglycemic or has Type O blood – better pack some snacks, just in case.

Is her family very religious, but you, not so much? (or vice versa) Be prepared to go with her and her family to religious services if that’s the case. You can at least enjoy the music – Christmas sermons tend to avoid laying-on the guilt trips, keeping the message on the bright side.

More seriously: Does your lady have a history of experiencing death around the Winter Solstice? Remembering relatives who died, and the terrible angst that gripped her and the rest of her family at that time, may put her into not-the-best-of-moods. And you’ll have No Clue as to why she’s suddenly acting so immature – unless you ASK!

My mother had a long history of tough times around Christmas. When she was six, her big sister, the favorite of the family, died suddenly on Christmas Day, and she overheard her father say he wished it had been her who died. Twelve years later and barely out of high school, her own mother died of cancer in December. At age 65, her husband (my father) went into the hospital the day after Christmas and died three weeks later. Then she herself died on Epiphany at the relatively young age of 68.

This gives you an idea of how much “baggage” a person may be carrying, when Holiday Time comes. It’s a good idea to know this ahead of time, before she says or does something that insults your family and embarrasses you in front of them. If you figure out that this is what’s going on with your lady, be understanding and give her all the love and comfort that you can. Make her feel like you’re her family now (if it’s not inappropriate for you to do so).

You may be putting so much emphasis on making sure everybody on your gift-giving list gets covered, that you may completely overlook deeper issues like this. Yet even the gifts themselves can be landmines of misunderstandings, going way beyond the insincere reaction of “just the thing I need, how nice.”

Take for example, the art books I gave my husband one year, to replace those that had gotten damaged in a basement flood. I thought I was doing him a favor, but he thought I was trying to embarrass him by reminding him of how he behaved like a ballistic jerk when he discovered the damage!

So ask yourself: what do you HOPE her reaction will be, at the gift you’d like to get for her? What do you HOPE she’ll give you? Then TALK about your Expectations. This can be tricky, because you also want to preserve the element of surprise and not reveal too much. But you should at least try to get clear on whether you are both expecting something Great, or something modest (if it’s a low-budget year). And do make an effort to get familiar enough with her tastes that you don’t get her something that you would rather have for yourself (like the sweatshirt of your favorite football team instead of a negligee).

Happy Holidays – and May your Fondest Desires be Fulfilled!